Where am I right now? I'm in a triple dorm room with my two other roommates at UC Berkeley, Unit 3 Residence Hall complex. I am a first-year chemical engineering student...though after going through four hour chem labs, I wonder if this is the type of thing I want to be doing for the rest of my life. Made me wonder if maybe I want to switch to computer science. Programming, coding, having something beautiful come out in the end...that was awesome when I took a CS course in high school. But for now, I'll wait it out a bit and see if chemE takes to me.

May I also mention...I had the hardest time deciding whether to come here to Cal or head off to UCLA instead. With Berkeley's reputation for being hardass, myself not wanting to work freakishly hard after reaching my limit in high school, seeing Berkeley's ghetto-ness, sometimes I feel like it would have been smarter to take the easier path. SoCal! Though I suppose there's no use looking back now.

Have I died on dA? Not quite...I've actually been obsessively checking dA nearly every day--each time I go online. Or at least...I did for years, up until a few weeks ago. My messages have started to pile...never reached this high of a number before. I still love art just as much as before. I just haven't had the time to create my own, lately.

My senior year of high school came and went. It was amazing. Formed some great memories. My summer...in the beginning was a disappointment. I applied to around 5 internships and/or jobs, went to interviews, and in the end got nothing. Instead, looking for some purpose to occupy my time, I applied for Youth for Asian Theater (YFAT), was accepted, and unexpectedly gained the best summer of my life thus far. Someone fell in love with me, and I think I fell in love with him...But we go to different universities. Before we even began, we already knew we would end, mutually agreed we would end. We promised we would remain friends even after our halcyon days vanished. I really hope we do...so far, we're still smiling.
I wonder if this is a happy ending. Maybe I won't call it an ending.
This has been kept somewhat secret amongst my friends. Perhaps some of them will happen upon my deviantART page and confirm their suspicions, haha...
I also went to Anime Expo before all this happened. My friend and I had matching cosplays: Souseiseki/Suiseiseki from Rozen Maiden and Arietta/Anise from Tales of the Abyss => myself/her. I'm always the relatively masculine character who dies. Also, we did some loli on the side. Our own sewn cosplays. It was my first anime convention and full of awesome. Felt like another world or a dream. ><

I could type lots more, but I have chemistry homework, a second midterm this Friday. *sigh* And I suppose that this is unnecessary, random babble in any case.

I don't know if I'll ever be as active on dA as I was in the past, but know that I'll still be around. Lurking. Still appreciating the art that appears here every day. Thank you so much to those of you who saw enough worth in me to follow my page or comment on my submissions. Your support has honestly helped me reach the level of artistry I now possess, however much or little that may be. I would have loved to continue developing my skills consciously, but...for better or for worse, my life placed other pursuits above drawing.

Thank you sincerely for your kindness.

not goodbye.
still alive. <3